Thursday, August 28, 2014

6 Ways to Improve Your Conversations

by 

Jacqueline Whitmore


The solution to the age-old problem of understanding others may be as simple as taking the time to improve your active listening skills. Active listening is all about building rapport, understanding and trust.
Your “likability” factor is largely determined by your ability to effectively listen to client and customer suggestions and successfully respond to their needs, requests and concerns. But you don’t have to be born with the gift of gab to become an expert communicator. Here are six tips to help you become a better listener and actually hear what others are saying, not just what you think they are saying or what you want to hear.
1. Show a real interest. When you speak to someone, especially in a busy or loud environment, give him or her your full attention. If you find yourself distracted or can’t hear them well, ask to move to a quieter area. Practice empathetic listening. Put yourself in his or her shoes and try to see the situation through his or her eyes. Ask questions and encourage the other person to elaborate. Even if you haven’t experienced the same situation, try sharing a personal story about a time when you felt similarly.
2. Use the magic words: “Tell me.” Most people will cherish the opportunity to share their stories and experiences. To start a conversation, use the two most powerful words in conversation: “Tell me.” Successful conversationalists avoid questions that may be answered with a simple yes or no. Ask open-ended questions and then listen. For example, you may say, “Tell me, Joe, what prompted you to start your own business?” Or ask for their input, “I’d like to take my family on a vacation this summer. Tell me, do you have a favorite vacation spot?” When you choose a topic of conversation that demonstrates interest in the other person, the discussion will flow more smoothly.
3. Say the other person’s name. Dale Carnegie once said, “A person’s name is to that person, the sweetest, most important sound in any language.” Any business acquaintance will be flattered and impressed if you remember his or her name. If you have difficulty remembering names, set out to practice as frequently as possible. When you meet someone for the first time, say the person’s name immediately. Respond with something like, “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Frank.” Then use their name a couple of times throughout your conversation. When the conversation ends, say their name one last time: “I really enjoyed meeting you, Jim.”
4. Agree heartily; disagree softly. When someone agrees with you, it establishes an instant bond. Suddenly, you both have something in common. However, the strongest professional relationships exhibit mutual respect and admiration, even in disagreements. Tolerance and respect for others, especially when they disagree with you, is vital to successful networking. If you strongly disagree with someone’s opinion, softly communicate that you don’t see it the same way. Ask questions and allow the person to fully express his or her reasoning.
5. Talk less; listen more. When someone speaks to you, listen with your whole body. Nod, make eye contact, and be fully engaged in what they have to say. Attentive listening will build trust and help you establish a professional relationship. When given the opportunity, ask pertinent questions, which will help demonstrate your sincere interest. If you don’t understand, ask for specifics. You could ask a clarifying question such as, “If I hear you correctly, you’re saying…Is that right?” It’s best to confirm your assumptions rather than risk a miscommunication.
6. Don’t interrupt or change the subject. Many assertive professionals finish others’ sentences out of habit. If you jump in and interrupt someone’s sentence, you prevent him or her from fully expressing his or her thoughts. Though your intentions may be good, the other person may perceive you to be a know-it-all or in a rush. Or worse, the person may think you are trying to put words in his or her mouth. Always permit the other person enough time to finish their thought before you respond. Your patience and thoughtfulness will be appreciated.

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

6 Ways to Prove You're a Genuine Superstar at Work

Remarkable employees (here's how to tell if you are remarkable) spend significant time helping other people succeed: their company, their employees, their customers and vendors and suppliers...
But remarkable employees also spend a little time helping themselves succeed, both for "selfish" reasons and because their success creates success for others.
Want to stand out from the crowd? Want to stand out based on go, not show? Here are some great ways:
1. Be first, but with a purpose.
Many people try to be the first to arrive each day. That's great, but what do you actually do with that time? Organize your thoughts? Get a jump on your email?
Instead of taking care of your stuff, do something visibly worthwhile for the company. Take care of unresolved problems from the day before. Set things up so it's easier for other employees to hit the ground running when they come in. Chip away at an ongoing project others ignore.
Don't just be the one who turns on or off the lights – be the one who gets in early or stays latein order to get things done. Not only will your performance stand out, you'll also start to...
2. Master a specific -- and valuable -- skill.
Meeting standards, however lofty those standards may be, won't help you stand out.
So go above the norm. Be the leader known for turning around struggling employees. Be the shipping manager who makes a few deliveries a week to personally check in with customers. Be the VP who promotes from within. Be known as the employee who responds quicker, acts faster, or always follows up.
Pick a worthwhile mission and then excel at that mission. I promise people will notice.
3. Create your own side projects.
Excelling at an assigned project is expected. Excelling at a side project -- especially one you created -- helps you stand out.
For example, years ago I decided to create a Web-based employee handbook my then-employer could put on the company Intranet. I worked on it at home on my own time. Some managers liked it but the HR manager didn’t, so it died an inglorious death.
I was disappointed but the company wasn't "out" anything, and soon after I was selected for a high visibility company-wide process improvement team because my little project had made me "that guy."
Try it. For example, experiment on a new process or service with a particular customer in mind. The customer will appreciate how you tried, without being asked, to better meet their needs... and you'll never be forgotten.
4. Put your effort where your mouth is.
Lots of people take verbal stands. Few take a stand and put actual effort behind their opinions.
Say you think a project has gone off the rails; instead of just pointing out its flaws so you can show everyone how smart you are, jump in and help fix it.
Everyone talks about problems. The people who help fix problems are the few who stand out.
5. Show a little of your personal side.
Personal interests help other people know and remember you. That's a huge advantage for a new employee or a company competing in a crowded market.
Just make sure your personal interests don't overshadow professional accomplishments. Being "the guy who does triathlons" is fine, but being "the guy who is always training and traveling to triathlons so we can never reach him when we need him" is not.
Let people know a little about you; a few personal details add color and depth to your professional image. (Plus it makes you a lot more likeable.)
6. Work harder than everyone else.
Nothing – nothing – is a substitute for hard work. (Sure, you can also work smarter -- but why not do both?)
Look around: How many people are working as hard as they can? Very few.
One way you can always stand out -- regardless of talent, experience, or skill -- is by outworking everyone else.
It's also the easiest way to stand out, because I guarantee you'll be the only one trying that hard.
(photo flickr user Jason Csizmadi)
If you liked this post, you'll love my book based on four years of personal and professional advice --TransForm: Dramatically Improve Your Career, Business, Relationships, and Life -- One Simple Step At a Time. (PDF version here, Kindle version here.)
While I could go all hyperbolic on you, here's the deal: If after fifteen minutes you don't find at least 5 things you can do to make your life better I'll refund your money.
That way you have nothing to lose... and hopefully plenty to gain.

6 Bad Habits Holding You Back From Success

You always imagined your career would be like a rocket ship shooting you straight to the stars, but instead you seem to be stuck in one place, already out of gas. Before you blame your company, your coworkers, or your boss, it's time to take a good look in the mirror. Your bad habits might be the culprit holding you back from the corner office you’ve always dreamed about.
We all have bad habits, but bringing your baggage along to the office can be the difference between soaring or stalling in your career. Below are six common workplace bad habits to break if you want to continue moving up the career ladder:
Being a Lone Wolf
Collaboration is the key to workplace success, but you prefer to work solo. While being able to work independently is a valuable commodity in any workplace, working alone shouldn’t be your only speed. If you are constantly ducking out of team projects or asking to tackle a task without any help, your coworkers will take notice.
While those around you put their heads together, brainstorm great ideas, and form connections, you’re being left in the dust. You need to show you can play well with others. After all, managers and those in charge need to be able to lead a team. Getting ahead in any office is one part skills and one part connections, and your lone wolf nature means you’re contracting your professional network instead of expanding.
Break the habit: Find a project you’re interested in and ask to be part of the team. Do your best to keep everyone involved and in the loop, and stretch those collaboration muscles. It’ll show managers and coworkers you’re more than just a lone wolf.
Saying Sorry
Are you apologizing too much in the office? According to recent statistics, the word sorry is uttered approximately 368 million times per day in the UK. Women in particular seem to have a tough time ditching the word sorry, and apologize far more frequently than men. Saying sorry about every little thing implies you are constantly making mistakes, and can undercut your position in the office and with managers.
Break the habit: You need to take ownership of your mistakes. It’s time to stop over-apologizing. (Click to tweet.) Reserve the word sorry for big mistakes and cut it out of your everyday vocabulary.
Taking on Every Project
Do you get excited by new projects? Do you like jumping in with both feet and finding new challenges? These are great attributes to any employee, but it’s time to learn your limits. If you say yes to every single project, you might soon find yourself unhappy, burnt out, and badly overworked.
Break the habit: The word “no” is a powerful thing. It doesn’t make you look like a slacker or weak to turn down a project you just don’t have time for. Be protective of your time and abilities, and know when one more task is just too many.
Being Negative
No one likes a Debbie Downer, and if you come into work with a raincloud over your head each morning, it’s not surprising you haven’t moved up in your company. Enthusiasm and passion are traits managers look for in superstar employees who get promotions and excel within the company. No one wants to promote someone who looks miserable to step into the office each day.
Break the habit: Sit yourself down and ask the hard questions you’ve been avoiding. If you hate your job, it might be time to look for another opportunity. Or maybe you feel stalled and want to learn something new, in which case you can talk to your manager or boss about opportunities to shadow in different departments or take professional development courses.Ask yourself what would make you wake up excited about your workday, and chase after your dreams. (Click to tweet.)
Doing Things the Way They’ve Always Been Done
Innovation is the lifeblood of any company, yet many workers just come into the office to punch their time cards and collect their paychecks. And this isn’t only on employees:according to a survey by Fierce, Inc., less than one-third of employees felt their company would change practices based on employee feedback. (Click to tweet.) Lack of innovation in companies, it turns out, is a two-way street.
Break the habit: Sit down with your boss and ask for an open-door policy for employee feedback and ideas. Once a month, try to submit an idea for how your company can improve and grow. Not all of your suggestions will be implemented, but you’ll make yourself stand out as someone with big ideas who really cares about the company’s future.
Being Disorganized
Every year, Americans spend on average nine million hours looking for things they’ve misplaced. (Click to tweet.) Imagine how much of your work life is being frittered away every time you misplace a report under a pile of desktop debris. People walking past your cluttered workspace are judging you for your organizational chaos.
Break the habit: The next time you have a slow day, spend it organizing your office. Set up a plan to stay more organized and stick to it. Keep in mind, the hardest part of being organized is initially cleaning up the clutter and putting things in their places. Once the hard work of cleaning up is done, it should be a breeze to keep your workspace in good shape.
Your bad habits don’t have to hold you back from career success. If you tackle these habits head-on, you might just find yourself moving on up the ladder.
What do you think? What are the worst work habits you’ve noticed? Share in the comments!
Image Courtesy of Bigstock
About Ilya Pozin:
Serial entrepreneur, writer and investor. Founder of Pluto.TV, Open Me, and Ciplex. Writer for Forbes and Inc. Husband 1x, father 2x, entrepreneur 3x. Follow Ilya below to stay up-to-date.

6 Secrets to Success Only Early Birds Know

It’s been proven time and time again that the most successful people tend to be early risers. The person you spy out your window going for an early morning jog while you’re still in your pajamas probably knows some secrets to success.
Is there a correlation between early birds and future success? If so, what secrets are morning people discovering before you’ve had your first cup of coffee? Before we dive into early bird behavior, let’s first look at some of the reasons why some people just naturally find it easier to get out of bed with the first morning light:
Why are some people early risers?
Why exactly do some people dread the rising sun, while others welcome it? First of all, our sleep cycles are regulated by circadian clocks, which is an internal mechanism letting you know when to wake and when to tuck in for the night. Modern technology and artificial lighting has played a bit of havoc with the circadian rhythms, which is just one of the reasons you’re often advised to avoid the bright lights of your computer screen directly before bedtime.
If you just can’t seem to drag yourself out of bed in the morning, don’t feel too bad. It’s possible you’re just a natural night owl. Research has discovered about 10 percent of people are early birds, while about 20 percent are night owls. Called a chronotype, it turns out there might be a reason you keep hitting the snooze button every morning.
What’s the link between early mornings and success?
While studies show evening people can often be more creative -- and sometimes even smarter -- than morning people, there’s one major reason the early bird gets the worm. Why? It might just come down to our modern society. Our working lives just naturally cater to early risers, who are beginning to groove into their day before a night owl’s first cup of coffee has fully kicked in.
The Success Secrets Early Risers Already Know
While about 50 percent of your chronotype is due to genetics, it’s not impossible to change your attitude towards the sunrise. Here are a few reasons to do so:
1. There are less distractions in the morning.
A typical day can get crazy, fast. You have family obligations, friends, your career, your expanding inbox, and a to-do list a mile long. It’s easy for the personal items to fall off your list, like that book you’ve been dying to read, the meditation you want to do, or even the jog you’ve been meaning to take.
These personal items, however, can help you de-stress and carve out some time for yourself. For most people, it’s easier to carve out this personal time in the morning then it is after work. When the rest of the world is quiet it’s easier to find the time and space for some much needed “me” time.
2. Exercise gets your blood pumping.
Exercise has so many health and emotional benefits, yet it can sometimes seem impossible to squeeze into your day. If you start the morning out with some yoga, a run, or even a brisk walk, you’ll be diving into the day refreshed and ready to take on the world. Finding time for exercise in your day can also make you more productive, which means a morning jog might help you get in shape to climb your career ladder.
3. Successful people are already doing it.
Early birds know greeting the day early is the key to success, which is why morning people tend to be so successful. Apple CEO Tim Cook is known for sending emails at 4:30 a.m., while both Richard Branson and Vogue Editor Anna Wintour get up around 5:45 a.m., which is when Wintour plays a round of tennis. Successful people have limited time in their day to accomplish tasks and take personal time, which is why they get an early start.
4. You’ll be more productive.
In 2008, Harvard biologist Christoph Randler discovered morning people were also more proactive. They were more likely than their night owl counterparts to agree with statements like, “I spend time identifying long-range goals for myself.”
Early risers know to keep an eye on the future, and to never stop looking for ways to better themselves and keep their abilities sharpened. A proactive attitude leads to more productivity, since you’re never waiting in the wings for someone to tell you how to tackle a new challenge.
5. You will have time for breakfast.
Everyone says breakfast is the most important meal of the day, but how often do you really have time for a good breakfast? Or any breakfast at all? Early risers have more time in their mornings, which means fewer excuses not to eat a healthy breakfast. A survey from the Harvard School of Public Health recently found skipping out on breakfast may increase coronary heart disease risk, so having the time to schedule in a good breakfast is more important than you might think.
6. You’ll be happier.
Not to knock night owls, but research has actually shown morning people tend to be both happier and healthier. The health component makes a certain amount of sense; as we’ve seen, morning people tend to make time for breakfast, themselves, and exercise.
According to a University of Toronto study, however, morning people also self-report higher levels of happiness. Considering the well-researched link between happiness and work performance, it’s not hard to see why happier early birds often find themselves flying higher than their late-rising counterparts.
Early risers have discovered a few secrets to unlocking success while the rest of us are in bed snoozing. It might be time to change your sleep patterns, stop hitting snooze, and see what greeting the day earlier can do for your career.
What do you do in the mornings? Share in the comments!
Image courtesy of Sheila Sund, Flickr
About Ilya Pozin:
Serial entrepreneur, writer and investor. Founder of Pluto.TV, Open Me, and Ciplex. Writer for Forbes and Inc. Husband 1x, father 2x, entrepreneur 3x. Follow Ilya below to stay up-to-date.
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